Relationships? Possibly one of the most talked about, misunderstood, unknown topic of conversation in all generations. You can ask anyone what an ideal relationship between two people is and they can’t give you a single answer. That’s if they even give you an answer at all! In younger generations, say the 90’s babies, it would seem that there is so little romance these days and it’s become a rarity if someone stays loyal. From my own experience, even I’m shocked when I’ve not been cheated on, or even when I’m treated nicely but then my choice of partners hasn’t exactly being great, until now. And they all started out okay I guess, I wouldn’t ever say great because truth be told I never really wanted or liked any of the people I got into relationships with when I look back now. Hindsight really is a fine thing, huh. But that spark, that bounce! That chemistry and love, that excitement of a new relationship that I feel everyday now, the Honeymoon Period that everyone says won’t last. Well what if, with the right person is can?
I wouldn’t even know where to start in telling you about my relationship now, Adam is so beyond anything I thought possible and being with him is more perfect than I thought could even exist in this world. I’ve had my fair share of shitty relationships, reached places where I just assumed that a family in the future would be out the question because there was no way in hell that someone existed that would love me enough to want those things. And yet here I am, head over heels and completely and utterly in love with the guy I just never thought would look twice at me, let alone ask me to be his girlfriend. If you were to ask me, what I thought made the perfect relationship, I’d say this:
“There is no perfect relationship that exists, but there is a person out there that is perfect for you.”
For me, I needed someone that knew everything about me and was still there wanting to date me. I knew Adam for three years before anything sparked beyond a friendship, and we’ve gotten to know each other really well during that time so that we had an understanding. He’s the only man I’ve ever fully opened up too and he is so aware of me, all the time. He knows instantly if something isn’t okay, or if something is bothering me and that level of care makes me feel so loved that I’ll forever trust him with everything that goes on inside my head. He’s my best friend, I have to talk to him every single day. And despite the distance, being 100 miles away from me, I’ve never trusted someone to stay more loyal to me than him. But this level of perfection, don’t get me wrong, being with him and his beautiful self doesn’t mean that I know longer feel shitty. Or I don’t have bad days. It just means I have someone there to support me, love me, make me feel less shit about my day and to remind me that tomorrow will be better.
But does this so called Honeymoon Period have to come to an end?
I once read somewhere that the reasons why most people fall out of love are the exact same reasons they fell in it. That someone’s stubbornness is now refusal to compromise. That there black and white view of the world becomes immaturity. That their bad habits that once excited you are now just a waste of money. Their legs up on the sofa are no longer sexy, but just another annoyance in your stressful life. But honestly, I ain’t sure that’s the root of the problem. I see relationships fail constantly. It’s almost like people take their partner for granted, they just assume they will always be there and stop treating them like the angel they are, and just sorta know they are there. Or they start spending so much time apart be it working different hours, having different interests and the general events that crop up that mean you spend time anywhere but with your partner that they start to not know each other anymore. They argue over issues which aren’t anything to do with the reasons they are mad at each other. And instead of speaking about them, they build up, so you throw everything you can at them to make them know how mad you are or annoyed but you never give them the actual reason. Both of you stop making effort, but expect the other to do so but are too proud to make the first move. And before you know it, you’re sitting in silence at night and you can’t remember the last time you sat and did something together, or asked them: ‘How was your day?’
So do I think the Honeymoon period has to end? No, I don’t think it does. I think life gets that bit harder, and you get more familiar with each other and I probably will one day get used to the idea that he isn’t going anywhere. But will I ever not be excited to go home to him? No. Will I ever not look forward to waking up to his face? No. Will we have arguments? Yes, I’m positive we will. We’ll be so mad at each other we’ll be furious; but will I not love him because of it? No, I’ll always love him.
I don’t know how I could ever count myself not lucky to have Adam. Or how I could ever take him for granted. I never thought I’d ever go on a date with him, let alone kiss him or get to wake up everyday knowing that not only am I in love with him, but he is in love with me too. I don’t even notice any other man in a room because I’m so conscious over where he is and wanting to be with him. I’ve got everything I never thought I’d have, and I’m not letting anything take that from me or ruin it. (Sorry Adam, I guess you’re stuck with me now.)
I understand from other relationships that you can try, you can try and make them perfect or make them work and sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you try, they don’t always work. Sometimes, you just ain’t supposed to be with a person, I know none of my previous partners were right for me. Despite the fact I couldn’t stand any of them putting their hands on me, I never got on with them. I never clicked with them, no spark, no chemistry, whatever you want to call it. But sometimes you just know. I know with Adam that the reason it never worked before is because they weren’t him. And I think, while ever you’re growing with the person you’re in a relationship with, I don’t see why it has to turn stale or how it can turn to shit. While ever you only ever have eyes on the person you’re with, all they will see is that look across the room and they’ll always come back to you. I know Adam’s home, that’s the only place I ever want to be and the only place I can ever imagine being. (I love you, Adam.)