For years I’ve believed that life just throws shit at you till you can’t take it anymore and you just accept that that’s all it’s ever going to be. That people will use you again and again till they get from you what they want, and move on to the next person. That love doesn’t exist having felt numb for as long as I can remember and that love is just a social construct made up to try and sugar coat the shit world that we live in.
Does it get better? Is that all there is?
I’m currently laid in bed in Cyprus in the most beautiful room, with the love of my life. I can hear his breathing whilst he sleeps, my tummy starting to come to life as it starts wanting food. The surprise flowers on the table that he picked out for me have drunk a little more water than yesterday. My hair needs washing and my body is smoother than my life has ever gone but fuck, does it get better!
I never thought I’d be laid here with him 3 years ago, that I can reach over and kiss him whenever I want. That my mom would text me saying that the man I’m with will make a beautiful son-in-law. That the shit things don’t matter because I got the best deal. I’ve got a very small circle of the best friends a girl could ask for, my best friend-lover-boyfriend in touchable distance. The most beautiful doggo and family who never fail to stand together in difficult times.
I never thought I’d see past 21. And I’m here 22 not having a clue where I’m gunna end up but as long as it’s by his side, holding his hand with my family and friends and doggo son, I couldn’t really care. It gets better. Nothing is constant and there will be ups and down. My down right now is when can I get breakfast. My up is I’m gunna go run a bath before daddy gets up.